A T

Interesting Holiday, Thanksgiving. Everyone gathers together to eat a large bird, known exclusively for its stupidity, and a chemical which makes people lethargic. This Thanksgiving, is purported to have come from a time when the English "settlers", or "Invaders" as some people would say, apparently came together with the Native Americans to eat corn. And Squash.

I think that's it, cause some time shortly there-after we began to "discover", or "take" things from the Native Americans (Indians). Like Land and stuff. Not that the Native Americans could tell at first, because they essentially, didn't follow the general concept of ownership.

Now, to be clear, lets further explore the term Native, from Native American. Native is a word which comes from the Latin "Here First" or the later transcribed Greek term "Dibbs". Which is really where the debate as to "Discovery"/"Theftscovery" begins.

Now, to some eyes it would appear that the whole, "We were here before you" thing is open and shut, and pretty much ends the whole debate. But wait, on the settlers side comes the idea, rather notion, ergo concept of "Manifest Destiny"; or the "Well God said we could have it so there", idea.

Again, I find it a little bit odd that these folks fled England for religious freedom (zealotry) in the first place; only to turn right around and invoke this whole god (idolatry) thing leans towards absurdity.

To whit I realy get lost on this whole we're civilized and your savages thing. First off, nobody showered. Nobody. Ever. Its in all the movies. Furthermore, powder is not Soap. I don't care if Lye was invented understood or available. Powder is but a thin veil that the skunk wears to appear like a Kitten.

Then there is the whole TP thing. Of which I am not referring to Native American lodging (Tee Pee). I have two scary words for you. The first is Corn. Which is only shortly followed after dramatic pause by Cobb. Corn Cobb. R U KIDDING ME? So not only is every ones poop full of corn, which is horrific an image enough, but then folks had to return to the source to return the pieces to the source (think about it, but don't picture it).

Savages my foot. At-least Native American clothing was roomier. and breathed better. A truss? A Truss? Really? If your clothing hampers your breathing.....

So I'm in a tavern looking across from this fair maiden who is powdered for smell, purple for lack of oxygen, and wreaks of corn. And she wants to make small talk about savages. Savages, at this point I'm leaving the tavern and lookin for Pocahontas.

peace,
j

Pre Thanksgiving

You know, and I hate this. I sit here and I want to write some completely immoral diatribe attacking some conservative faction of some sort. I want to make fun of someone. Put someone down. Needle, be-little, generally otherwise oppose something. But I can't. I got nothing. I am grateful for my family. My blessings. I have wonderful supportive friends. I am working. So I guess whining is out. Curse you perspective. Curse you and ........

I hope whoever you are and wherever you are, you are safe and sound wherever you may be.

peace,

j

I'm stupid.... and here's why

So I have some rare spare time at work, when I am actually caught up on everything. I decide to take a walk around the block. To you know exercise. Well anyway, after about three minutes of this walk, it occurs to me that it has been awhile since I have actually taken a walk.

Suddenly the sedentary nature of my whole existence becomes horrifically into focus. Wake up. Drive to work. Drive to drive-thru for lunch. walk to desk. sit. walk to car. drive home. spend time with kids (around house). Sleep. Repeat.

Holy shchnitzel batman, I think I know why I can't fit into my pants. Could it be that I eat almost an average of one fast food meal a day???? Sometimes two??? All the while walking to and from my car. Distances not to exceed twenty yards.

Fischizzle Robin!!!! That's it. So today Tuesday November 17th the chronicles of Fatman begins. I am sitting here a paltry (poultry, deep fried) two-hundred and 36 pds. I will let you know how it goes from here.

this just in...

Reo Speedwagon, Styx, and Night Ranger are coming to perform at a .............. I don't know Six Flags near you. Reo Speedwagon Really??? What was the Night Ranger Song? Office mate said "Sister Christian". Good stuff Sher Bear. She also makes the excellent point that this would have been an awesome concert 20ish years ago.

This brings me back to the good times of really big hair, and concert shirts. Oh yeah. Concert shirts. Nothing says your the man (or the woman) like a skin tight Tee-shirt, ripped tight jeans, and REALLY BIG GIANT HAIR WITH MOOSE in it. Moose that was made from a .... wait for it.... MOOSE. That's right actual Moose saliva, sent in fresh, not frozen from the Rockies. None of this Moose farm Moose spit. Only Ferile Moose spit will do.

Nuff said. Sadly, I have too much work to do to mock "Mr. Roboto".

Peace

Just Briefly

Good morning all. Just typing in some quick notes to my fan(s). Who am I kidding. Hi Erin. So here's where I am. babies- good. Swine flu- scary as foshizzle. work-stressful as foshizzle.

It is hard live in the precious fleeting moments of life, while planning for the future. I feel like a one armed man in a juggling competition.... who's glasses fell off... while tying his shoes... on a steep embank....

Then I feel blessed as I watch my precious newborn sleep. At work I feel persecuted, when I think maybe I should be appreciated. I am trying to find the line between coach-ability and accountability juxtaposed with am I just being bullied???

My pulse is 106 as I try to typed this e-mail with shaky fingers.

Still, life is fun, and funnier still. I look forward to my next (mis)adventures. I wish I could sing (well). That looks like fun. A hot spotlight would really serve my ego about now.

So wherever or whoever you are on this big spinning rock, I hope you are well safe and loved. Try to hug someone today. Splash in a puddle and giggle if possible. And just maybe forgive yourself for one of your foibles. Ooh and if you don't send this to anyone..... whoopty schnit. I hate chain letters. Why would anyone send someone a blessing wrapped in a veiled threat of a curse. That's why they gave swimming lessons to creepy old ladies in Salem for gosh sakes....

Peace...

J