PTFBD

I have Post Traumatic Facebook Disorder. This occurs when you get on face book and remember how fucked up your life was, and why none of these people bothered to call you for twenty something years. I wonder how many suicides have been connected to this insidious device.

I can see the note now, "Turns out I really do suck" "Thanks for not inviting me to the reunion ...." Its pretty wild actually. I wonder how it plays out in terms of pricks and such. Have the pricks of old evolved into a kinder gentler penis? Or are they just old Pricks?

I admit to mostly fond memories and forlorn disappointments in my pathetic high school football career watch unfortunately serves as a litmus test for me existence (SCAAAARRRY).

I confess to nothing. I remember being mostly uncool, in an over exuberant attempt to be cool. Generally speaking ..... I sucked. I was funny enough to be amusing, but unfunny enough to be viewed as obnoxious. I did try to swim or fly or whatever awkward shit teenagers do to fit in, and I did it all without the use of marijuana; and with the mildly debilitating qualities of Panic Attacks with night time on set, and some actual PTSD. Fortunately I was barely humorous enough to myself to keep the joke that was me afloat.

Where was I..... Aaaah yes facebook. I guess "serial killers paradise dot com" was taken. I know I sound bitter. Resentful of all the other who's. Not so. I adored the other who's, and even longed to be one. OK it really wasn't that important to me, I just wanted to get laid. Still those whose with their ..... all blinging and blanging.... and clinging and clanging.... Made the old Grinch (oooh this is good) green with envy. Get it green? Grinch? Envy???? Just me? OK my bad.....

thats all I got. sleep well.

Happy St. Patricks Day

First off this joke is too easy so I'm gonna take a pass. If you don't get the oxymoronic irony, than you probably can't be helped anyway.

Anyways I'm listening to one of these "Classic Rock Stations", you know the one who's dee-jay moniker is like, "Granola Sandalwood". Anyway Granola bar decides that since today is Saint Patricks day, the day that Saint Patrick drove all of the Snakes off of an island which wasn't inhabited by snakes got me to thinking. What happens when people stop drinking? People with drinking problems? Anyone?.... Anyone?

They see snakes. Its documented. I can personally vouch for about thirty personal encounters, and one very personal encounter back in college. So is it Saint Patrick's Day, or National Detox and Withdrawls from Alcohol day? Just a little Guinness for thought.

So Granola decides she is going to play a song by Yoko Ono and John Lennon, "The Luck of the Irish" Here are they lyrics:

Ok, one, two, three, one two, three

If you had the luck of the irish,

You'd be sorry and wish you were dead.

You should have the luck of the irish,

And you'd wish you was english instead.

A thousand years of torture and hunger,

Drove the people away from their land.

A land full of beauty and wonder

Was raped by the british brigands

!Goddamned!Goddamned!

If you could keep voices like flowers,

There's be shamrock all over the world.

If you could drink dreams like irish streams,

Then the world would be as high as the mountain of morn.

In the 'pool they told us the story

How the english divided the land.

Of the pain and the death and the glory

And the poets of auld eireland.

If we could make chains with the morning dew,

The world would be like galway bay.

Let's walk over rainbows like leprechauns,

The world would be one big blarney stone

.Why the hell are the english there anyway?

As they kill with God on their side!

Blame it all on the kids and the i.r.a.

As the bastards commit genocide!

Aye! aye!Genocide!Okay!

You should have the luck of the irish,

You'd be sorry and wish you were dead.

You should have the luck of the irish,

And you'd wish you was english instead.

One more time!

You should have the luck of the irish,

You'd be sorry and wish you were dead.

You should have the luck of the irish,

And you'd wish you was english instead,

Hey, yes, you'd wish you were english instead.

Niiiice. Really Niiice. Don't look for Billy Joel to be remaking this classic anytime soon. In fact, lets not look for anyone to re-anything this anytime soon. Sorta like Gansta Rap and Herpes. I know its out there, I just don't need to see it. And I gotta tell ya, nothin chops through brutal lyrics like that songbird voice of Yoko. Ouch. I'm tone def, and that shit hurt. Damn. Its like trying to weed your flower garden with a brick.

And here's irony for ya.

You've got John Lennon, the voice of generations. A messenger of peace and Love. Easily considered one of the greats by young and old. Then. Sitting next to him, we find an Extra-Terrestrial wearing Glasses that Elton John wouldn't be caught dead in. Talk about Imagine?

Well, we already know that love is blind, so I guess this is proof positive that love is deaf.

On Rush Limbaugh

Are you kidding me? Are you really serious? In an article I read on msnbc.com,

Republicans seeks balance with Limbaugh
GOP struggles to keep icon's conservative base while wooing moderates
written by By Perry Bacon Jr. for the Washington Post.com

Mr. Bacon (really) notes some of the recent controversy surrounding remarks made by Rush Limbaugh which apparently managed to offend many Democrats, and possibly alienate an already fragmenting Republican party. Hmmmmmmm where do I start. So basically the Republicans want to keep Limbaugh's popularity, and lose some of his "radio-active" antics. Talk about taking pork off the pig, Mr. Bacon. That's like trying to sell Spam as a healthy Snack. The very concept is Oxymoronic (pun intended) indeed.

Here's another gem

"Few Republicans are eager to alienate Limbaugh's millions of avid listeners." Don't you mean "rabid listeners". Listeners? Do people really listen to this guy? And I know the answer is yes? And I know that Professional Wrestling is the top rated show on Cable/Satellite/Cellphone/Porta-Potty Vision. Yes Virginia there really is a Santa Clause, But he is not this whiny, fat, bloated, hypocritical, mass of wasted oxygen.

OK, I get it. This is a difficult time for our country. We have a new administration. We are looking down the barrel at a lot of change. There are a lot of people for this new administration, and a lot of people against this administration. Or economy is in crisis. Yes "Rome is essentially Burning" so to speak; but before we can even begin to dissect or analyze the issues at hand, do we really want to turn to Rush Limbaugh for commentary? On anything? This guy has made a living off of whining and hypocrisy. Some people would call him a watch dog. I would call him an idiot. Some would say courageous. I would say stupid.

Honestly, I could give a flip whether you are Republican, Democrat, Independent, Libertarian. At least do yourself the favor of listening to someone with sense. Yes there was a wise man from the bible who cried out from the wilderness. A man who ate locust and honey. However, there are also a lot of crazy hermits running around in the woods getting stung by bees, and frankly I'm not listening to them either.

Here's a test. If you listen to someone and all that they ever say is negative, hateful, and injected with venom (except me, of course), then maybe their view on life is a little skewed.

This is arguably one of the most critical times in our nations history, we owe it to ourselves and our children to be at-least informed.

In like a Lion

Well March is coming in like a Lion. I like Lion's. Its my sign. I'm a Leo. Which if you follow Astrology as close as I do then you understand that I am a very loyal narcissist. Which is to say, I'm all about me, and if I like you. You.

Male Lions, in the wild, as I understand it; primarily sleep and mate. Good job if you can get it. Of course I know about as much about nature as I do astrology so don't quote me.

Anyways, its March, snowy, and cold. If anyone see's that fr#%n wood-chuck. Let me know.... I'll sick my Lion on em. :)