Happy Halloween

Aaaaaaaaaah yes, it is "All Hallows Eve". A night to celebrate those things that scare us the most. Goblins, Ghouls, Ghosts, children inhaling large quantities of sugar. I know, I know, it scares me to. Much more than the undead. Personally, give me the undead and keep the 7 year olds with a handful of snickers and skittles.

I digress. Earlier this week I watched a show about haunted houses and possessions (Not re-possessions, that's a whole nother SCAAAAARRRRY blog) and I go back to some classic Eddie Murphy material when Eddie notes that some people just don't leave. It was funny stuff. I wish I had the technology to post it. And like all things funny, it's largely true. The whole show, which was scary enough, honestly; but as it dragged on left me more annoyed at the people than scared. You find yourself just saying leave. And why does the priest always have to be Episcopal? I know we are an accepting faith but just once can't we throw in a baptist, maybe some potato salad and big haired healing experience? Back to the whole residency issue. Yes I know the economy is a nightmare unto its own, and housing is an issue; but I draw the line at demonic possession. Maybe I'm squeamish, or even egotistical, still I find if there is more than one of me in me (don't even go there)..... I'm leaving. No brainer. No debate. Leaving.

To continue. My neighbor (down the street) continues to have the coolest house ever. We're talking about cemetery stuff, Iron Fencing with poles bending to indicate the exit of the recently undead. He has a fog machine. A fogg machine. I so want to party with this guy. Its one thing to attach a ghost to a string, or as my daughter refers to large inflatable "globes of evil" which blow leaves in a circle with a little witch enclosed. My son following in-tow saying "Gwobes of Evwil" like a maniacally deranged Elmer Fudd. Then it is altogether another matter to really to have skeleton arms coming out of the ground. Personally its more fun watching the people watching his yard than the yard. Earlier this week I saw a guy driving by this house. Stop at the stop sign. Start and then do the "collective Scooby Doo" cartoon did I just see???? thing. Priceless.

Again, to contrast my neighbor, We have a traditional carved pumpkin and one bat which flies in a circle. Its fake.

Have a Happy Halloween.

No bats were harmed in the production of this blog.

Electorial Precipice

So as we sit on the precipice of what stands to be the most important election of our lifetime. Of an election which stands to affect: our lives, our children's lives, our parents lives, our grand-children's lives, our neighbors gardener who knows a guy who walks with a limps life, and certainly not least to some guy who is or is not a plumber, is or is not running for congress, who works for a plumber, which allows him to plumb, and wants to own his own business eh.......

Its a big deal. First. I think anything is better than what we have. Right now I would vote for a box turtle if I thought it would improve things. Still our country, if you haven't noticed is connected to other countries, and it would nice if maybe some of them....... LIKED US. Maybe its just my issues of low self-esteem, still right now the only people that "dig us" (if even) break every day for tea with "the Queen" and refer to Elton John as "Sir" hmmmmmmm. Does Rush Limbaugh know this. I hate Rush Limbaugh. OK maybe hate is to ........ soft a word. But I digress.

Bottom Line. We have money tied up everywhere. The trail, I believe starts somewhere around that soul-less Harpy "DICK" Cheney. Every time they wheel this demon's carcass to a hospital because of Heart Problems it makes me laugh. If this guy has a heart then I have three ears. This cat strikes me as a Satanical version of The Wizard of Oz. He's Like some cross between the Scare-crow, the tin Man, and the Lion hopped up on Steroids. I'm not even going to address the witch piece. Where was I, oh yeah "Dick" and (Money Trail) ends up in Juan Valdez's Asses Ass. Taking a brief detour through parts of Mainland China, Europe, Central Asia, and Winnipeg.

My point, and I know I have people scratching there heads at this moment, is that we are all connected. Yes, in a Buddhist kind of way. But also in a real money greed, green means go dollars, rubles, franks, euros kind-a-way. So if maybe we vote in an administration that acknowledges the world is not only not flat, but that other countries matter, then maybe, just maybe we can start some dialogue. Dialogue. You know...........talking. Such that maybe we can fix some of the un-adulterated debacle that we find ourselves in.

Tomorrow, we'll discuss caffeine, and maybe put in some shelves. "Good Day Then"

Horoscopes for the socially infirmed

Just had a minute to share:

Horoscopes 10-22-08

Aries- I know you feel good about this person but maybe your friends might be right. This would be a good time to lay low and heed wisdom from cooler heads.

Taurus- This Aries person really diggs you, but watch out for friends; they might have alternative agendas which could rain on your romantic parade

Gemini- Today is a good day to be outdoors. To cleanse your spirit in the fresh winds of Autumn. Today you can move on and get that healthy break from Aries you've been seeking

Cancer- Today is a good day to go with your precocious nature. Make that call. Send flowers. Just make sure Taurus doesn't find out. I think he has serious Stalker potential. Plus rumor has it he has a crush on Aries.

Leo- Ah poor dear sweet Leo. Today you feel trapped in the spotlight that only your ego can contain. Be leery of Gemini, because he is still pining for Aries (as if), and Taurus has moved in on Aries, before the body is even cold (talk about lonely hearts club). I say party with Cancer.

Virgo- Dear Virgo where do I start. Really? Aqua Velva? Really? On a first date. That crap smells bad enough to take a cat out of heat. Might want to reconsider dating advice from Taurus.

Libra- Oh Libra. Don't blame Pisces. You were warned. I know this was a blow to your ego. I imagine the stench of Aqua velva will linger for sometime. Still. It's nice to be asked. Isn't it.

Scorpio- OK Scorpio here's the plan. Call Libra. She's vulnerable. And lets face it, your no prize. She just polished off a nightmarish date with Virgo. If you hurry, there is serious rebound potential. Oh, and lose the Aqua Velva; why you guys listen to Taurus I'll never Know. You realize he's probably a stalker.

Sagittarius- Sagittarius, I don't care if it has a front entrance and a small kitchen; it is still your mothers basement. Come on now, lets pick-up our chin, look in the mirror, and say "Today is my day". Oh and I know you and Pisces have unlimited text. Still 52 messages in 17 minutes could be viewed as "clingy". Remember what happened to Taurus. How he got that blue tooth in there is still a mystery to me. But then why would anyone spray Aqua Velva on that body part? Dis-infectant is my best guess?

Aquarius- Aquarius, you may be the ultimate water sign, but right now it looks like its raining feces. Just stay inside. Don't bother. Really. I checked the stars. Its not pretty. Order in, watch depressing T.V. and be thankful you don't live with Sagittarius or date Taurus.

Pisces-Dear Pisces, I am so hoping that Aries, listens to you, if only this one time. Furthermore so as not to throw stones from your glass thrown room, why are you stringing Sagittarius along? 52 text messages? 52? You know that he hangs out with Taurus? Me thinks you can do better. Rumor has it Leo may be a lion but he is hung like bear.

House Part I of many

I love the show House. It's a cool show. Fascinating really. People find such horrific, obnoxious qualities about this guy; who is essentially a prick to everyone on the show. Or is he?

Lets discuss. I think people, in watching this show, really identify, or want to identify with this character. He is somewhat verbose, even bellicose at times; but enough toying with my new thesaurus. He is genuinely interesting in saving patience lives. It is his primary goal. He makes no apologies for his behaviors, comments, or actions.

Me. I dig this. This notion of abrasive sensitivity if you will. intriguing.

I will peruse this exercise further, later, as it bears thought which expands beyond the reaches of the flickering 30 watt bulb that is my brain.

Sleep well World.

Free at last Free at last!!!!!!!!!!

I have finally learned how to remove these ridiculous adds from my blog!!!! Praise the Lord!!!!!! I have had the inane advertisements which I idiotically put in place over a year ago and have not been able to remove. So every time I do a blog on something, someone tries to do some advertisement related to my topic. Its like a key word search. To whit, and I think anyone who does or has read this blog, can get the problem. My tendency to talk about saaaaaaaay anything leads to some weird adds. Awesome. I am free to type away..................

Christ versus Buddha

How's that for an ice breaker? So I'm laying on my bed thinking to myself multiple thoughts. As I am prone to do. I think of the Salmon. You know the one who spends his life fighting the current swimming up stream, fighting torrents of water, and the occasional bear just to fertilize that egg. Fertilize that egg? Then he dies. Anti-climactic really. All that work swimming jumping de-bearing. Sex. Then death. No retirement plan. No beach. No Vegas all-u-can eat bar. Just death.

In my limited understanding of things I see the Buddhist mentality of life as one which goes with the flow. One which says "follow the current . Do with the water, as the water would with you"

It certainly sounds more azure. More relaxed.

In like kind Christianity says......... Well I think it says "turn the other cheek."
"Swim as you will. But swim in kindness, with love for other fish" "Oh and if you don't, you could well spend eternity as stir fry". Stir Fry? Hmmmmmmmmm.

So what does this mean to me. Not so sure, really. This much I do know; I am of the warrior spirit. Figure out what you want. Get it. Kill it. Cook it. Come hell, high tide, rain, sleet, Postal worker gone postal, what have you. I do know that I am perhaps my own worst enemy, and that I probably put up more road-blocks on myself than does the world.

I also suspect the world lives a similar life. I am sure many is the smart man/woman that has said "We are our own worst enemy". I don't know who I stole that from, but it ain't mine, and I ain't the first person to say it.

I know that when I am in goal, and when I play a "passive", go with the flow, relaxed type of game which lends itself more to baseball; then I play better. And when I play an angry Linebacker "hit it" "hit it again" type of play. I give up more goals. Its a subtle point, but there is a strong micro-cosm here. Because when I go with the flow, the flow goes with me. But when I stand strong against the tide, I end up broken and battered. On the ice and off.


Just some food for thought. Bon-appetite

No really. You better watch out.....

So my little girl is at that age, when little girls start to question things. It's a magical time of wonder really. As things start to fill in place. Concepts, fairy tales, the Easter Bunny, what have you.

The other day she looked up at me smiling with the brightest cutest eyes and asked me, "Daddy is there really a Santa Clause"? What was I to do. So young. So innocent. Still growing ever day. Learning, take it all in like a sponge. Dare I clip those wings and arrest the growth god intended. Do I shelter my beloved with lies.

Oh shit yeah. So this is basically what I told her. " Absolutely, there is a Santa Clause, and in point of fact, he sent me a letter recently, saying that some boys and girls had been giving him some bad press, calling the big man a fraud.

I told her.
"Honey, Santa is special caring man; who loves all children" But let us consider, pumpkin, just for a moment, that
this is a man who Donn's a red suit, with flying reindeer, and parties with Elves, preferably called the more politically correct term, Midgets with ugly ears."

She looked at me as only a child could. Innocent and knowing. So I continued. Santa said that he is tired of this naughty list thing, and he wants names. He wants the names of the kids who are calling him and his operation. Dare I say his crew, a fraud. Further more C ( I call him C for Clause). Was very clear, that whence forth he got a hold of this widgets what been sullying his good name that they (miscreants) would be dealing with a lot more than a stocking full of coal. Like maybe a pillow case full of soap bars (painful, but not bruising).

I held my child nestled in my lap, and said, "Sweetie, this guy scares me, and I've seen him drink. So what say you and I write Santa a letter, telling him all the special things you want for Christmas, and maybe sharing with him the names of kids what been causing trouble."

In closing, I look forward to a peaceful Christmas, with the pitter patter of Deer hooves on my roof, and perhaps, if I'm lucky the clinking glass of Warm milk and Cookie crumbs.

Oh, and incidentally. Billy Thompson if your out there. Sucks to be you dude. Sucks.

Good morning. I hope this blog finds you well wherever you may be. I think I will write with a positive tone this morning. I hope you are:
smiling, laughing, feeling life to its fullest. I hope you remember:
good days, sunsets, cold beverages on hot days, and hot beverages on cold days with loved ones.
I hope you feel:
resurgent, vibrant, opportunistic, as everyday brings us new opportunities.
So take the time to:

Live Laugh Love and Taste life to its fullest. Suck out every drop, get the deepest marrow from the bone. and feel. feel life to its hilt.

peace,

jon

Chocolate Kisses and Vampire Dreams...........

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah yes boys and girls its October!!!!!!!!! Time for Halloween. The coolest Holiday of all. A celebration of Chocolate and Costumes. What could be more fun. I mean really. You get to dress up as your favorite .........whatever. And go out and eat lots of your favorites. Hell if your lucky. Maybe both? Oh oh . I know dress up as your favorite chocolates and eat each other TRIFECTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But I digress, for not only does the Chocolatier industry brain wash us with promises of rapid energy bursts, but they silently undermined other food groups as well. Carving Pumpkins? Think about it? What's the real message here? That's right. Its ok to kill vegetables kiddies, come with me into the forest of sugar and hone..........

Anybody else getting creeped out by the scary guy blogging in the clown suit? Just me? Ok.

So sleep well oh majestic Wicca, wherever you may be. For the night holds you close with Chocolate Kisses and Vampire Dreams.

late late show

Its 2:38 in the morning, and I am enjoying the perks of my career. While I sit and wait for people to return calls about matters essentially out of my control, I have time to ponder things. To appreciate. Even ruminate perhaps.

Presently I would have to say I'm not so disappointed in myself for not having learned more about the stock market. Ignorance in this case is bliss.

I do appreciate the finer things. Laughter, for instance. I have found myself laughing more of late, and I have found that to be a good thing. As laughter is both healthy and necessary. But enough about Palin.

To that end, or beginning I would re-address laughter. When you are surrounded by those who make you happy and joyous; all-be-it friends, loved ones, and children then good things happen.

Pretty much too tired to elaborate. More better later.

peace,
j

Five minutes.........

Five minutes to comment on the state of affairs. Stocks bad. Haircut, bad. Palin, "SCARY CLOWN". Fall beautiful. Daughter very beautiful. McCain "misguided patriot"

Ice cream is still good, and continues to become more fattening with every day my metabolism slows. I think I'm going to pack a suitcase and fly to Wall street pitching a stress management seminar. Think it'll sell? Probably faster than......... Well plummeting stock.

John Stewart. Smart. Sleep. Still vastly under-rated. Peanut Butter remains high on my list of priorities.

Not really focused this a.m. just wanted to share.

Have a nice day. Love on another. Go and play happy.

Drop Kick Jesus through the Goal Post of Life

and so life continues on. it spills and chills, bumps and bruises, ebbs and flows. I still try to laugh at the horrid shit, and smile at the beautiful moments as they cascade by me.

I think the commercial says "Life comes at you fast.......... something or other insurance." Here's a thought...... NO SHIT. Talk about an understatement. If your paying attention. If you have the balls to open your eyes on the roller coaster that is life, you find that yes, its goin pretty DUCKIN fast.

Your kids shoot up like weeds in summertime, anybody, I mean anybody with a brain has to be somewhat disconcerted about the state of affairs in our country. We sit upon the virtual eve of what stands to be one of the most important elections in our brief history as a nation. A nation of lemmings. And by lemmings I mean small rodents who follow each other in what-ever perilous direction the Alpha Lemming chooses. So between the Fox network and local preachers a lot of very important decisions will be made. Does this scare me. YA THINK?????

Don't get me wrong I make most of my decisions, at least important ones at the behest of someone I find to be more knowledgeable about whatever topic I'm not (knowledgeable). However, that lists rarely includes anyone on Television (minus comedy central, the only real place to get your news), and most certainly not from anyone in a pulpit with an outdated tie and seven expired cans of hairspray forming some kind of "Bee Hive-Mullet for Jesus" hair cut.

Now I imagine these remarks probably leave me unpopular in many sectors. I imagine. But let me tell you what I know. I'm right. I've been there, done that, and watched lemmings hypnotically stare into the idiot boxes of entertainment basing the decisions of little Tommy's College fund in the hands of the hopelessly lost.

good night children.

sleep tight, and don't let Bill O'Riley, bite (anywhere. what a freak).