No really. You better watch out.....

So my little girl is at that age, when little girls start to question things. It's a magical time of wonder really. As things start to fill in place. Concepts, fairy tales, the Easter Bunny, what have you.

The other day she looked up at me smiling with the brightest cutest eyes and asked me, "Daddy is there really a Santa Clause"? What was I to do. So young. So innocent. Still growing ever day. Learning, take it all in like a sponge. Dare I clip those wings and arrest the growth god intended. Do I shelter my beloved with lies.

Oh shit yeah. So this is basically what I told her. " Absolutely, there is a Santa Clause, and in point of fact, he sent me a letter recently, saying that some boys and girls had been giving him some bad press, calling the big man a fraud.

I told her.
"Honey, Santa is special caring man; who loves all children" But let us consider, pumpkin, just for a moment, that
this is a man who Donn's a red suit, with flying reindeer, and parties with Elves, preferably called the more politically correct term, Midgets with ugly ears."

She looked at me as only a child could. Innocent and knowing. So I continued. Santa said that he is tired of this naughty list thing, and he wants names. He wants the names of the kids who are calling him and his operation. Dare I say his crew, a fraud. Further more C ( I call him C for Clause). Was very clear, that whence forth he got a hold of this widgets what been sullying his good name that they (miscreants) would be dealing with a lot more than a stocking full of coal. Like maybe a pillow case full of soap bars (painful, but not bruising).

I held my child nestled in my lap, and said, "Sweetie, this guy scares me, and I've seen him drink. So what say you and I write Santa a letter, telling him all the special things you want for Christmas, and maybe sharing with him the names of kids what been causing trouble."

In closing, I look forward to a peaceful Christmas, with the pitter patter of Deer hooves on my roof, and perhaps, if I'm lucky the clinking glass of Warm milk and Cookie crumbs.

Oh, and incidentally. Billy Thompson if your out there. Sucks to be you dude. Sucks.