So I'll take a few minutes to share. To clear my head as it were. As if it were possible. I'm not seeing it. I love the title of this blog. It just seems to fit my life in its wierd puzzle piece fitting sort of way.
My existence on this planet has definately been interesting. I have definately seen some schnit. I have heard some things that would definately alter some folks reality. I have learned to laugh. I have learned to see humor. Everywhere. Everywhere. Which if you can't see the humor, then you can't deal with the pain. And if you can't deal with the pain, then your just lost anyway. In a world were so many people walk around in pain, humor gets it. Humor scratches that itch. If only for an instant. It takes you away.
Humor is my blues. Granted my harmonica may be broken, and my sunglasses may be store bought from a gas station, but so be it. If I can't be cool, at least I can be me. Which I suppose ain't cool. There are days when I definately feel depressed. Depressed. Days when I feel like the cowboy that been gutshot in the western. He knows its bad, but he's scared to look. He knows he's wounded, he just doesn't now how bad.
A friend of mine sent me a e-mail one-time talking about how self-pitying, self-serving I was. The friend pointed out my wounds one by one identifying them with salt. He indicated, almost prophetically that I was pretty messed up.
So here I am three years later. Blessed. Lucky. Cursed. Dumb enough to feel sorry for myself, but smart enough to know that the world is full of real suffering.
I survive on the smiles of my family, and a passion for sports. I cling to that. At times I feel that is all I have. However, if that is all I have.... then I am truly a rich man.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
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4 comments:
Baby giggles go a long way. By the way, Steph has started singing the blues when things aren't working out. She goes in the next room and sings a sad little song about the computer not working. "Why, oh why, does the sky, the computer not working, (sigh) Why oh why..."
Need sleep, love ya.
Amo
It is always good to get and to gain perspective, because there is never one way to look at something, be it a problem, a family situation, or a loss (personal or sports team - take your pick).
So I agree - sometimes I'm dumb enough to feel sorry for myself, but eventually I realize that the world is full of real suffering and that brings everything back into place.
Peace.
--e
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzznork?!
huh?
are you still here?
I think we all- all who are sentient and can weep- we all suffer under a curse. The curse that we know more than we can endure, and there is nothing, absolutely nothing, we can do about the force and the lure of this knowledge.
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