Spiders and Snakes

For those of you that don't know me, and those of you that do. Simply put. I DON'T LIKE SPIDERS AND SNAKES. Now having said this, yesterday afternoon, I decided to go outback and play with my new blower. Sounds like more fun than it is. Although being a man towards the macho side, holding a piece of machinery which propels things with force is cool.

So, lets review. We have me, arachnophobia/snake-a-phobe, a device designed to kick up leaves, and rocks at a high speed. We have an unusually high temperate climate in October... Does anyone see where this catastrophe is headed. Cause I didn't. After I exposed the first two snakes, and 3 wolf spiders, I was so jacked with fear, panic, naseau, and adrenaline you could have whispered boo in my ear and I would have stuck to the ceiling like a cartoon cat. If I had had the opportunity to play hockey last night, I imagine I would have excelled, because my reflexes were HONED. In fact maybe I'll try that for a pre-game warm-up. "John looks sluggish, bring out the snake". I can read the headline now. "Goalie stops 47 shots in shut-out, kills 37 spiders and a python. Snake Skin proceeds to go to local Jay-Cees."

Speaking of fear, my wife has been getting on to me about my language, particularly in front of the kids. However, as per fear, my patented response is "DUCK ME". It's a reflex, won't be changing anytime soon.

Also My wife and kids have that whole, "ooh cool" response to arachnids and reptilian thing going, which I just don't dig at all. Particularly my little girl, who isn't afraid of the devil, let alone a little snake. The question isn't so much when is daddy gonna have a heart attack, rather when and by what reptile. I just pray that as things go dim and I begin to collapse that the last thing I hear is "RIBBIT".

PEACE,
J